Coping with Caregiver Burnout

BY VICKI TORRES

s a woman business owner who copes with everything, you may find yourself suddenly having to cope with medical care for a seriously ill or disabled family member.

Welcome to the ranks of 25 million Americans who also function as caregivers for loved ones. You may be tempted, as an experienced CEO and entrepreneur, to tackle this as yet another problem to solve with to-do lists, cell phone calls, and computers.

But, beware. The stresses of this new caregiver role, coupled with running your business and dealing with the emotional roller-coaster you'll be on, can be overwhelming.

Whether or not you are experienced or trained for caregiving, that job by itself can cause stress. Couple it with the stresses of running your own business, and you may just be headed down the track to major burnout. That's why it's crucial to recognize the symptoms of caregiver burnout and learn how to cope with them.

Failure to pay attention to these symptoms of burnout can put not only you, the caregiver, at risk, but also your ill family member.

Deep feelings of responsibility and love, coupled with stress, can often make it difficult to realize when you are no longer able to care for a loved one and when it is time to seek nursing home care. By being aware of stress and how to avoid it, you ensure the best family care for your loved one and avoid putting not only yourself, but your business, at risk.

Recognizing the Symptoms
Caregiving stress can manifest itself in health problems, such as headaches, high blood pressure, asthma, nervous stomach, bowel problems, or other symptoms. Caregiver behavior and attitudes also can be indicative of stress.

Linda Alden, a registered nurse and geriatric case manager for NHS, Nursing Home Services, a Glendale, CA, firm, provides the following list of telltale signs of caregiver burnout. They include:

1. Being irritable and short-tempered, even about seemingly minor things;
2. Yelling, screaming or crying spells;
3. Ongoing depression or unhappiness;
4. Ongoing feelings of being tired or being under pressure;
5. Loss of interest in personal activities and friends;
6. Irregular sleep patterns or insomnia;
7. Withholding affection from the care receiver;
8. Refusal to leave the home, even briefly, for fear the care receiver might need help;
9. Withholding food, baths, dressing changes, or medication from the care receiver; and
10. Refusal to pay for goods or services under the rationale that the expenditures are wasteful on one soon to die.

Coping with Caregiver Burnout
If you or other caregivers you know exhibit any of the above behaviors or seem particularly under stress, Alden, who has worked in the field for more than 30 years, suggests the following steps to help relieve burnout and prevent further occurrences.

1. Get help. Investigate the resources available to you through community groups, professional advisers, and government aid. Hire a part-time helper or ask family members to help out. Join a support group of other caregivers, either in person or online. Don't discourage others from helping you. Don't allow yourself to become isolated.

   "NHS helps families obtain Medi-Cal benefits to pay for nursing home and in-home care and assistance," Alden said. "Often, by the time the caregiver comes to us, they are emotionally and physically spent. They have cooked, cleaned, helped the family member with personal hygiene, overseen their medical regimen, been responsible for paying bills, and on and on. It's too much for one person to do."

2. Create a manageable schedule that includes breaks. Recognize that caregiving is a more than a full-time job and that running a business is also more than a full-time job. So, don't try to double up. Instead, hit that schedule book and create a realistic schedule that includes assigning other people to do parts of both the caregiving and running the business.

   Schedule daily, personal time away from caregiving and from your business twice a day, even if it's only 15 minutes. Take a complete break when stress has reached intolerable levels. Find ways to reward yourself with things as small as a movie rental or a cup of herbal tea. Create a daily caregiver priority list, and don't worry if the items farther down on the list aren't done. Stay healthy by eating right, sleeping and exercising regularly.

3. Learn about the illness. Set reasonable expectations for what your care can accomplish by learning about the illness. Know what to expect in terms of prognosis, patient behavior, and symptoms. Know what you will be expected to do, both medically and physically, and evaluate whether you will need others to fulfill some functions. Get training to learn the most efficient way to do necessary procedures, such as lifting, bathing or administering medications.

   "By knowing what to expect, you lessen stress, because you've prepared, both mentally and physically," Alden said. "Too often, caregivers have unrealistic expectations of behavior from the ill person, and that creates frustration and resentments."

4. Be honest with yourself. Set caregiving limits, and don't exceed them out of guilt. Admit it when you have had enough and can do no more. Allow yourself to have negative feelings and recognize they are part of caregiving. Don't put on a false image, but do try to look for positive reinforcement.

   "The patient is being cared for, but no one makes sure you, the caregiver, are getting your meals or your rest," Alden says, adding, "So, pretty soon, instead of a patient and caregiver, you have two patients!"

By paying attention to your own behavior and avoiding burnout, you will be able to provide the best care possible for your loved one. The decision on whether to seek nursing home care or other assistance can then be made with the assurance that you have done all you can and are doing the right thing in reaching out for help to continue the quality care you began.

VICKI TORRES is a former Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who is based in Los Angeles and now provides a wide range of business marketing materials as Vicki Torres/creative communication. She can be contacted at 818-997-4180.

(This article is reprinted from the Winter 2003 edition of Enterprising Women magazine. Copyright 2002 Enterprising Women Inc. Reproduction in whole or part is prohibited, except by permission of the publisher.)

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